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Welcome to the #Pub FUN page
IRC is said to be Addictive!!
(blah)
Below you will find some cartoons
and some jokes and "true stories"where they are from and who they
are by i don't know?
Sorry to anyone who is the artist!!
(if anyone has any they would like posted send them in!
(Please
note that they are for Fun and not to offend anyone!!!)
Plane Story (A True Story)
A TRUE
story taken from the LA Times:
In the beginning, the plan for a divine human design
was painstakingly implemented.
And after creating Adam they were on the
final stages of creating Eve.
"The nerve endings," said St. Peter, "how many will I put in her hands?" "How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord. "Two hundred, O Mighty One." "Then we shall do the same for the woman." "How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals, O Mightiest?" "How many did we put in Adam?" "Four hundred twenty, O Mighty One." "Oh yeah, now I remember, we wanted Adam to have a little fun procreating, didn't we? Do the same for woman." "Yes, O Great Lord." "Wait! Hold it, Pete, Give her ten thousand, it'd be a hoot to hear her scream out my name..."
Interesting Facts?(copied
as supplied the comments are not mine btw lol)
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months
and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig) (How'd they
figure this out, and why?)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150
calories an hour.
(Still can't get over that pig thing) (Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species
that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't
seem fair)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine
years longer than left-handed people do.
(If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight,
can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when
intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did taxpayers pay for this research??)
Polar bears are left handed.
(Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out,
ask them?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the
pond?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length.
It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine?? And why pigs?)
A cockroach will live nine days without
it's head, before it starves to death.
(Creepy) (You've got to wonder about the sick sadist who found this out.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate
while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping
the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the.f...) (Well,
at least pigs get a break there...)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I still want to be a pig...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Oh, geez) (That's almost as bad as catfish)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
(After reading all these, all I can say
is.......Lucky Pigs.) :)
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A friend of a guy in the Nutrition School at Tufts was one of the lucky passengers onboard a Northwest Airlines flight to Boston during our recent hurricane "Bob".
The captain did his best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a pretty rough ride just the same - rough enough that the flight attendants were ordered to strap themselves into their seats for about half an hour, and many of the passengers were putting the little plastic-lined bags in their seat pockets to good use.
When the turbulence finally abated, the
flight attendants unbuckled themselves, and the captain's voice came on over
the intercom. "Well, folks, that was quite some ride, wasn't it?' But we came
through it fine, just the way we always do, and I'm happy to report that it
looks like the remainder of our trip should be much calmer. On behalf of myself
and today's flight crew, I'd like to thank you very much for your calmness and
cooperation, and extend our best wishes for a pleasant stay in Boston.
This was followed by:
"Jesus Christ - whadda bitchin' ride'' Boy
- I sure could use a cup of good strong coffee and a blow job, right about now'"
As a stricken stewardess dashed up the aisle
to the cabin to inform the Captain that his intercom was still on, one
of the passengers called after her,.............. "Don't
forget the coffee!" :o)
This is a TRUE story taken from the LA Times:
"In retrospect, lighting the match was
my biggest mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil " Eric Tomaszewski
told bemused doctors in the Severe Burn Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Eric, and his homosexual partner Andrew
"Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session
had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed the cardboard tube up his rectum
and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," explained Eric. "As usual, Kiki shouted
out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but
he wouldn't come out again. I struck the match, thinking that the light
might attract him.
At a hushed press conference, a hospital
spokesman described what happened next.
"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannon ball."
Eric suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffers first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.